M.O.M

Making Opportunistic Moments

Mom. Mama. Mommy. Omma. A name you love and cherish. It becomes your identity; your way of life. Cold food, big tears, laughter, scolding, lessons, and love. Being a Mom is hard. Being a Mom is joy. Being a Mom is making opportunistic moments out of hardships. It is making struggles into something beautiful. It is remembering you are only human and you will never be perfect. It is giving yourself grace and compassion. It is apologizing to your kids or husband when you may go off the deep end because you put yourself on the back burner for far too long. It is realizing you are all they have and how much they need you and you need them.

Motherhood is a special gift that should never be taken for granted. My husband and daughter are blessings to my life. They are God’s gift to me and I to them. On days where the crying never seems to stop or naps won’t happen or sleep is short…I have to make joyous moments. I have to stop and remember it is for a reason the crying or the naps or the little sleep. Frustration, sadness, or confusion will not help my situation, only joy, love, patience and compassion can help when everything seems impossible.

The feelings of defeat, frustration, sadness or confusion are not invalid do not get me wrong. My feelings are valid. Your feelings are valid. But emotions are fickle things. When we respond in emotion we are responding in what we are feeling is the truth in that moment based on how we feel. It is not based on fact or logic. We aren’t perfect, so responding with emotions is going to happen and should happen. We were given them by our Creator however they shouldn’t run nor ruin our lives.

Biblically speaking motherhood was never supposed to be easy in this world. Whether it is emotionally, spiritually or physically we as mother’s will have suffering times. He told the woman: I’ll multiply your pains in childbirth; you’ll give birth to your babies in pain (Genesis 3:16). Thank God for modern medicine on this one… However, a prime example of how being a mother is wonderful yet painful…in so many ways. But it isn’t always suffering. There are glorious times that bring us joy and encouragement. In 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (MSG) it is said, So we’re not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There’s far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can’t see now will last forever. Being a parent never will be easy however, it will always be worth it.

When you sign up for being a parent it doesn’t stop when they move out at 18 or 21. They could move out later because they need time to get on their own two feet in this world. Maybe they need time to create a career for themselves, save for a place to live on their own or with a soon to be spouse, or maybe you never gave them the needed push to be independent. There are a lot of factors to preparing your kiddos for this cruel yet beautiful world. You want them to reach for the stars yet you don’t want to see them fall on their face. They need to be independent and stop living at home so they can experience themselves, yet you want to know that they are eating well and that their fridge is full. It is a fine line, one that we all must figure out how to balance.

My parents encouraged me to move out on my own in college, and I did. It was rough but great. It prepared me for so many things. I didn’t want to always be depending on my parents for everything forever. Sometimes yes I needed grocery or gas money. Other times I had everything I needed to pay the necessary bills. After college I didn’t know what to do…So I moved home for 8 months until I decided to go on a missionary journey in Colorado Springs then Seattle. After that I did research into MA programs. I decided to go back to school. My parents supported everything I chose to do, even financially getting me to my new college. I paid for my own rent, the school itself and other utilities. I occasionally needed help with groceries and sometimes gas. But I did my best to do everything on my own because that is what I wanted to prove to my parents…that they did it. They raised a daughter who can survive and thrive…yet can humble herself when she is truly in need. Even to this day with my own kiddo I call or video my mom for help or advice. Sometimes I even need help financially. There is no shame in that. I tried my best and even after all of that I still don’t know it all or have it all. My mom has more wisdom and life experience so why shouldn’t I reach out to the woman who gave me all of herself…because now here I am in the same shoes doing the same things she did.

This is what I want for my kids. I want them to survive and thrive in this world. I want them to reach for their dreams; for the calling on their hearts from God. I want them to want to be independent but know I am always going to be here for them when things are rough or unstable. I want them to know respect and eventually my friendship. I want them to know they are so incredibly loved.

So, my friends…Let’s make opportunistic moments out of hardships.